Terror and fear are two things that everyone feels. For me terror comes from my past and the complex PTSD that I have. There are a lot of things that most people can do that for me is so hard to do.
Going to the DMV and getting your ID renewed, for most it is a pain to do. You basically have to take half a day off work and wait around while people are getting processed ahead of you. For me, it is terrifying. The reason why, I have a fear of being in a room with more than 8 people. I deal with it in ways that most would think is strange. I will do things on-line that most can go and do in person.
Going to the grocery store, most people can do, I walk in and usually turn right around and leave. Not get the groceries, not get the money order that I need, I will sit in a corner and shake. Now you may think that it is strange that a person can’t go in the store but there are reasons.
Have you ever noticed how many people are in the stores? Do you know where the exits are? Ever notice that a 24 hour store, locks one set of doors so there is only one way to get or out. For them it is so people don’t steal and control - for me terror. I have tried in the middle of the night and the fact that I can’t see the exits from the back of the store or how many people are in it scare the hell out of me.
I have always had a fear of large groups of people. Never liked them, never will.
For me the blessing are when people are willing to take the time to help me. Whether it is the driver who drops off my food, or my husband helping with going to the post office.
If you know a person who has these types of issues or maybe walking issues - help them out. If you are going to the store, find out what they need and get it for them. The kindness we put into the world will come back to us -maybe from a different person or in a different way.
